All Quiet On the Western Job Front

Greetings All!

Follow me today on a trip to the exotic nation of Canada, on the resource rich continent of North America, as we prepare to study the hunting rituals of the white, anglo-saxon male in search of sustenance.

Though when out of his own environment, the white male can be hostile towards others of his own kind, when in his native land, we typically see a much more docile and carefree version of the species. It is normal for the parents of these creatures to support them well into the second quarter of their lives. Though a large percentage of these animals leave home for a number of years to discover the world on their own, it is not unusual for them to return home, exhausted of the weariness of the outside world. At this time, returning to the care of the parents can be difficult for the subject to adjust to and it is here that we see the first sparks of independence develop.

The diet of the white-male is a complete imbalance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates gathered from available foods around him. Though the creature is capable of finding food for himself, it is customary for his kind to perform services in exchange for the resources he needs to survive. The search for a mutual agreement in which resources will be exchanged for labour is the most extreme and cut-throat hunt the white-male will ever find himself in - and it's what we find ourselves observing today.

Our primary subject is physically smaller than most, but is educated and has had previously successful experiences in exchanging his labour for resources. Typically sticking close to home, as the thrill of returning home with a bounty each night excites him, the stomping grounds of the subject are comparatively smaller to those with a more severe hunger for the hunt.

Observing the subject for the past four months, I've found that he has at least twice been able to find a suitable partner to exchange services with, while still allowing him to accommodate his other leisure activities. In recent weeks however, he has retreated to a state of hibernation, relying on the goods he has gathered in the past to support him - this behavior was at first perceived as odd, until we began to look at the subject's leisure activities to provide an answer. And provide it did.

For several months, the subject has been learning the skills to hunt the elusive "career job". Thought to be an urban legend by both subjects and observers alike, the career is a relationship where the subject both exchanges labour for resources but ALSO practices his leisure activities. A mix of both work and play long thought unobtainable for most of the subject's life.

At the ripe age of 23, the subject is combining the relevant experiences of his last four years in the nation's capital urban centre with his passion for communication. Finding his way to a local trading post of both resources and communication, the subject began to offer his labour for free - instead asking only for experience and advice in hunting larger prey.

Coming across individuals who had been successful in finding suitable prey, the subject gained both confidence and excitement for the coming hunt. Using the tools at his disposal, as all intelligent, white males do, the subject was observed going after several career-jobs - but failed in most of his attempts to gain even an audience with his prey.

It is this environment of learning that the smaller stature of the subject becomes irrelevant and his curious nature becomes the trump card in the deadly game.

On August 22nd, 2009, the subject was observed conversing with another white male, somewhat older, who had grown tired with his current prey and was moving on towards another hunt. Though the prey the older hunter was leaving behind was enticing to our subject, the older hunter offered up rumours of another, bigger hunt farther down the road.

The subject, satisfied with his hunting for the day returned home to ponder the turn of events. Though his hoard of resources resources are quickly depleting, he knows he has only two options; to move on to smaller prey, which would guarantee a return of resources - or to stay with the hunt.

The subject has been previously observed as carefree, docile and these qualities were attributed to most of his behavior. But recently, we see these characteristics providing him avenues that would be unavailable, had he begun to pursue smaller, more easily hunted prey - a scavenger. Instead, we see the subject biding his time, learning his prey and waiting for the moment to strike.

It is evident that we are not observing a jackal or vulture in this hunt for employment - but the king of the concrete jungle himself - slow to anger, slow to act - but ferocious when he does - the lion.

Thank you for tuning into another edition - and good luck on all your own hunts!